By Christian Charlton, Silver Linings Guest Blogger
I was inspired to write this piece while pondering the inhumane treatment I have practised upon myself and my body. My eating disorder has exacted a significant toll upon my mind, body, and soul. It was written in the hopes of ending the prolonged conflict of which I was engulfed for far too long. It is my hope that by sharing this with you, you may attain insight and peace.
Sometimes we feel like a war is raging within ourselves. This war, like any other war in the history of humankind and beyond, is a war disseminated by ignorance and fear.
How then, you might ask, do we "win" this war within ourselves? Who are the aggressors and who are the attackers? What nations within ourselves are engaged in this conflict? Why do they fight?
How are wars "won"? With weapons? With deceit? With strategy? With fear?
Do we feel victorious, when we look upon the countless human lives that have been extinguished? Do we feel victory, when the orphaned children walk through the remains of their homes; children who do not understand why their parents have been taken away from them; Were they "just on the wrong side"?
If your answer to these questions is 'no', and in turn feel that war is inappropriate, why would it be appropriate to wage a war with ourselves?
What parts of ourselves do we wish to destroy? Guilt? Anxiety? Sorrow? Grief? Self-loathing? Thoughts we feel aren't our own?
What parts of ourselves will be destroyed in the course of this war? Love? Trust? Self-worth? Ambition? Desire? Life?
When the dust settles and the borders are redrawn, what will have been accomplished?
I would say that we have inflicted great pain on ourselves; we will have fostered a deep distrust, in and of ourselves. All this, because we did not understand. Because we made the choice - consciously or unconsciously - to not understand.
You may think I'm overly dramatic to be comparing the savagery of war to the conflicts we sometimes feel within ourselves. Allow me to pose you this question: If we did not foster ignorance of ourselves, would there be war at all?
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Ignorance kills.
Knowledge heals.
Fear wills
Awareness reveals.