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I think my loved one has an eating disorder.
How can I help?

Seeing someone engage in destructive eating patterns is scary, frustrating, and hard to understand. It is common to experience anger, fear, confusion and guilt. Individuals experiencing an eating disorder often do not recognize or admit that they are ill. As a result, they may strongly resist getting and staying in treatment. Ongoing emotional support is necessary for the individual, as recovery can be a long process and relapse is common.

Remember: eating disorders are not due to failure of will or behaviour; rather, they are real, treatable mental illnesses in which certain maladaptive patterns of eating take on a life of their own.

Before you do anything, take some time to think about your best course of action, get educated and seek support!

The most important thing to remember when caring for your loved one is to practice self-care. It can be extremely draining and scary to see someone you love suffering from an eating disorder and it is easy to let the illness take over your life.

It may seem unfair to take breaks when someone you love is suffering, but it is crucial for you to be in your best health in order to provide the best care. Remember that you are doing the best that you can and take a moment each day to distress and reset yourself.

Do:

  • Learn about eating disorders so you can recognize the signs to watch for

  • Remember eating disorders are potentially fatal diseases and should be treated accordingly

  • Listen to your loved one with understanding, respect + sensitivity

  • Tell them you are concerned, that you care and would like to help

  • Encourage them to seek professional help from a physician and/or therapist

  • Be available for support

  • Discuss feelings rather than food, weight or exercise

  • Empower them to make their own decisions and be accountable for their decisions

Don’t:

  • Don’t take any action alone – get help!

  • Don’t try to solve the problem for them - they need a qualified professional

  • Don’t blame them for doing something wrong or tell them they are acting silly

  • Don’t focus on weight or any particular eating habits

  • Don’t comment positively or negatively on appearance or weight

  • Don’t force the person to eat or tell them to “just eat”

  • Don’t reject or ignore them, they need you

  • Don’t give up! It takes time and they need your support!

What not to say to someone with an eating disorder

Get An Informed Opinion

If you are seeking support for yourself or a loved one with an eating disorder, you can connect with our Community Navigator. You can book an appointment here to get expert guidance on next steps.

More Expert Information

Explore our Video Resource Library, a series of videos exploring themes related to eating disorder recovery with interviews from psychiatrists, psychologists, counsellors, social workers, nurses and dieticians who practice include EDs.

If you need help finding a specialist, check our our guide ‘how-to find a specialist’

Another helpful tool for parents navigating their child’s eating disorder:
mentalhealthfoundations.ca/ed-parent-webinar.

 
“Please know this:
Recovery is possible.
”