By Benazir Radmanesh, Silver Linings volunteer
The time of the year surrounding special holidays can be triggering for many. For those struggling with an eating disorder, this season can prove especially challenging for maintaining healthy boundaries around food and body image. The highs and lows of the holiday season can also amplify emotions and the focus on disordered eating and urges that often accompany them.
Therefore, this month I’d like to share a few tips on how to give yourself the greatest gift of all this holiday season: your recovery.
1) Make a Plan
The holidays can be a daunting time for many. Strained family relationships, loneliness, financial pressure and food & drink focused events can all add up to increased stress for those in recovery. To mitigate some of these stressors, it can be especially helpful to make a strong plan around the holidays to avoid triggering situations and prevent relapse. It may help to make this plan with a trusted counsellor or friend or family member who can guide you through organizing meals, activities, and building a schedule that promotes self-care.
2) Establish Boundaries
Sometimes those closest to us are those who trigger us the most. If you know that spending time with certain individuals or family members tends to be triggering for you, consider what boundaries you may need to set in advance. This could look like setting a time limit on how long you spend with someone, asking loved ones not to discuss food or weight when you are present or setting boundaries around gift-giving. Remember that setting boundaries can be a challenging skill to learn. Try not to feel discouraged if at first others push back against a new boundary. This is often a normal reaction when others are faced with change, which is why having a strong support community is very important.
3) Practice Self-Compassion & Forgiveness
As much as possible, try to focus on progress instead of perfection. Perfectionism often correlates with harmful thoughts and behaviours. To avoid being hard on yourself, try to think of yourself as you do a loved one or friend. Aim to treat and speak to yourself as you would someone who you care about. If the plan doesn’t go perfectly and triggers negative emotions, try not to beat yourself up. Remember that the holidays can be a difficult time for many and that you are not alone.
2020 has been a year full of unexpected twists and turns... As the year comes to a close, the happy festive season that we all expected is seemingly unrealistic. This month, however, try to give yourself the ultimate gift: your own wellbeing and recovery. Although holidays, seasons and feelings come and go, your recovery is the ultimate gift that keeps on giving.
Happy holidays to all and I look forward to being in touch next year!
