By Sophie Balisky, Silver Linings volunteer
For this recipe you will need the following ingredients:
-2 cups, self-awareness
-1 cup, self-compassion
-1 cup, healthy perspective
-2 1/2 tablespoons, patience
-2 heaping tablespoons, forgiveness
-a handful, boundaries.
Directions:
1. Amidst the holiday food-focus, start off by understanding that food is not a moral issue. It is not valid to equate your value with the food you consume. Food is cultural, nostalgic, fun and enjoyable. And at its core, food provides the energy to live. Constantly denying ourselves certain “bad” foods and replacing them with “good” alternatives is just another kind of recipe, for disaster. This takes us to step 2.
2. Stop the “all or nothing” diet mentality. Maybe this sounds familiar: you promise yourself you’ll “get back on track” on Monday or when your vacation is over or...This black or white, “I’ll start tomorrow” mindset can be the start of the dangerous binge/restrict cycle. If you’ve eaten a few cookies, there is no need to keep going and “start again on Monday.” Instead, reset NOW by loving and respecting your body and by trusting that you can achieve a healthy and intuitive balance that includes occasional holiday treats.
3. Know that you do not have to earn the food that you eat. You do not need to lose weight to gain permission to eat Christmas dinner! You CAN feel free to go ahead and enjoy food, no strings attached. Granted, after personally overcoming an eating disorder I discovered that enjoying food is much easier said than done. However, with effort and time, changing the deep-seated beliefs that contribute to a disordered relationship with food is possible. In the meantime, please know this truth: You CAN trust your body. Even if it goes against everything you believe, try to internalize this. Eating delicious food during the holidays is not something you must “work for” to deserve.
4. Be kind to yourself. For many of us, the holidays can bring up uncomfortable emotions. If not processed, these emotions may be lead to harmful behaviour. Restriction, binging and purging were my go-to coping tactics for years. You may not be able to control what sets you off, but you do always have a choice: to either self-sabotage or be kind to yourself. Asking yourself the question “how can I take amazing care of myself today?” is a powerful tool to help you choose kindness over the alternative.
5. Be prepared to object to body shaming and triggering commentary. The holiday season can be a full-on bombardment of toxic diet-related conversations. Think critically and don’t be afraid to challenge other’s beliefs around food, body image and weight. While you do this, make sure to keep your well-being as your top priority. You are allowed to walk away from conversations, ignore remarks and state that you cannot entertain certain topics. Therapists, like-minded friends and body-positive social media communities can be amazing supports in the “diet culture war zone” holiday season. Don’t be afraid to reach out for support.
6. Combine the above ingredients and mix well. Bake at 365 degrees of determination to NOT be controlled or diminished by society’s damaging food and body image beliefs. Decorate with words of affirmation and the knowledge that you are more than enough exactly as you are. For this holiday recipe - and others, all year long - you have the right to joy and freedom without conditions.
